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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?